3. Don’t embarrass yourself
Where to even begin with this one. The original goal was for the players to keep the game within reach, don’t take stupid penalties, and essentially look like a semi-respectable team on national television.
Michigan State couldn’t even wait for the game to kickoff to start the embarrassment. I’m sure somewhere, this week, someone said, “Yeah, MSU is probably going to get crushed, but as long as no one mentions Hitler, it won’t be the worst thing in the world.” And they were dead wrong. How a picture of Hitler ends up on your jumbotron is a failure on so many levels, that the fact that only one person has been put on administrative leave is criminal in of itself. Mentioning Hitler has never benefitted anyone, ever. Not Kanye, not Hunter Dickinson, not anyone. It seems like such a simple decision but leave it to Michigan State to mess than one up, too.
Add to it, a series of in-fighting with the Board of Trustees, including the chair essentially bullying the interim president and making insane decisions without notifying any other board member or administrator. How can we trust the people in charge to hire an elite coach when they can’t even agree with each other on anything. I haven’t even gotten to the on-field embarrassment yet.
Another game, another formation penalty on Michigan State’s special teams. Alante Brown, who would not be playing on this team if it were up to me after his attitude and body language after fumbling last weekend, running into a punt returner. These are penalties that have nothing to do with skill and everything to do with coaching and effort. For it to happen time after time is just further embarrassment for this program.
Spencer Brown spearing a down defender just reinforces the “dirty player” narrative just further embarrasses this program.
Not scoring a point at home when teams like East Carolina, Bowling Green, UNLV, and Nebraska were even able to put points against Michigan further embarrasses the program. Running a sweep to the short side of the field in a division 1 college football game is one of the most bewildering play calls I have ever seen in my life. I thought the short side jet sweep Dave Warner special was the worst offensive play call in history, and Jay Johnson makes it look like a Andy Reid masterpiece.
Nothing good happened Saturday, on the field or off the field.
One of my favorite bands, the Lawrence Arms, has a line in a song, “This ship is sinking and I don’t know what to do.” And I don’t think anything sums up my feelings for my alma mater better.
Every day, this institution is hitting new lows, and I feel completely helpless. I’m not rich enough to be that kind of donor and even if I was, I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Michigan State needs a strong full-time president, but whoever gets the job has to deal with a Board of Trustees that operates as a middle school clique. I purposely don’t wear Spartan attire nearly as much as I used to because it’s so hard to be associated with the school. I’ve had strangers approach me about Nassar years ago, asking me about the situation like I have to justify my fandom when they think that monster is the face of the university. There’s no chance that I’m going to subject myself to questions about Mel Tucker, inept on-field play, Administration issues, or infamous dictators (I can’t believe I have to say that).
It’s times like this where I wish Bane, the Batman villain, actually existed and he could rally Spartan Nation in front of the John Hannah Building and give a speech like this:
Michigan State University from the corrupt. The
incompenent. The oppressors of generations who have kept you down with myths of
Big Ten Titles, and we give it back to you… the
MSU is yours. None shall interfere. Do as you please. Start by storming
The Tom Izzo Football Building, and freeing the oppressed. Step forward those who would serve, for an army will be raised. The powerful will be ripped from their decadent
offices, and cast out into the cold world that we know and endure. Courts will be convened. Spoils will be enjoyed.
Smart people will be
players will survive, as they learn to serve true
play-calling. This great
university… it will endure.
Sparty will survive.”
But alas, we are left with no hope, except for a potential title run from a team that has yet to play one meaningful minute of basketball. If you still root for this football program, bless you, and may God have mercy on your tortured soul.